Wednesday, October 31, 2007

In the beginning...

Ahoy maties. Have you been touched by His noodly appendage? The Prophet Bobby Henderson has shown us the truth of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but the Church has yet to gain real strength. I propose the formation of a Rutgers Pastafarian Chapter to help spread His noodly word.

For those who are unfamiliar with the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the teachings of the Church, you can go to the Church’s main page, http://www.venganza.org/ or buy a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster at your local bookstore. Basically, we feel the Flying Spaghetti Monster, an all-powerful, though not so bright deity, created the universe and all life in a few days by unintelligent design and promptly proceeded to get drunk. We are a peaceful and open-minded religion (the only religion based on empirical evidence), dedicated to getting our Theory of Unintelligent Design taught alongside the Theory of Evolution, since we have just as much scientific evidence. For example, we now know that global warming is caused by the increase of temperature proportional to the decrease of pirates, as pirates are His chosen people and their persecution has angered Him. We stand for all that is good and are against all that isn’t good. If your still not convinced, remember our guarantee: Try us for thirty days and if you don’t like us, your God will most likely take you back. Oh, and a few bonuses, every Friday is a holiday and our Heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Cool, right?

So, with all that said, who’s in? Post your support, approval, thoughts, questions, etc. I look forward to hearing from potential followers. Stay tuned for more info.

RAmen.

6 comments:

Michael said...

o rly?

Captain Crunch said...

Yes Michael, I'm for real.

Michael said...

I didn't want to say anything but I was touched by his noodly appendage.

Captain Crunch said...

Congratulations. The Flying Spaghetti Monster with His noodly wisdom has deemed you a true Pastafarian.

greenbeard said...

cool, where do i sign up?

Captain Crunch said...

Greenbeard, when enough people show interest in the Chapter by writing posts, I'll organize a gathering to set up and organize everything. So keep an eye on the blog for news.